Where Do Children Fit In?

Often, parents never stop to think about that they will do with the children when a loved one dies. Probably most wonder who they will get to baby-sit the children while they attend the funeral. Excluding children from the visitation/funeral will delay their grieving and hinder their ability to deal with the death and loss later in life. 

Here are some practical ideas that have worked well to include children.

• Give children the opportunity to draw a picture of a happy memory they have of the person who has died.  The picture can be placed in the casket or left with the urn.
• Have a child write a letter to the person who has died. This give the child the opportunity to say, “I love you.’ One more time and to say goodbye.  Put the letter in the casket or with the urn.
• A child can either pick flowers from the garden at home or buy flowers and place them either in or on the casket or by the urn.
• Older children can act as pallbearers or can read a selection at the funeral.

You will find it very helpful to spend time explaining to the children what a funeral is about and what will happen. Taking them to the funeral home for the visitation or wake is helpful in making them feel comfortable in those surroundings.  As a result, the day of the funeral will be much easier for them.